Letter to Daddy

I have been thinking about Oliver a lot (as you would expect)...but we have had some milestones in the past week that made us think and talk to him even more than we do on a daily basis. 


The first milestone was Daddy's Day--Rob's first Father's day and he can't hold his baby boy. We anticipated it to be a very sad day...but it was pretty good. :) We slept in, went to my parent's for lunch and to hang out, and went on a bike ride with my dad (which was pretty fun and funny). Throughout the day and weekend, I asked Oliver (in my head) what he wants to say to his daddy...and this is what he said:

Dear Daddy,

Happy Daddy's Day to the bestest daddy in the whole wide world!! I can't tell you how much I wish I could physically be with you on Earth, but I am with you always. I watch you and listen to you. I hug you and kiss you--like you kissed and hugged me on the day I was born. I loved that...just as much as you did! I love that you were confused when you saw I was a boy--Momma kept trying to tell you that she was right. I love that you wanted to show me outside and what cars look like, so you took me to the window. Even though I didn't have my eyes open and didn't see then, I see it now. There are some pretty cool cars on Earth, huh?! I especially love that green VW Beetle you and Momma got and named after me--Junebug. That's one cool car, Daddy! And I love that Papaw, Mimi, Uncle Tony, Aunt Rett, and Abby, Laney and Hayleigh want to play with it and fix it up too! I am with you then too! 

Daddy, you are an amazing man! You are so faithful, strong, loving, smart, handsome, funny, and Godly.  Thanks for being so strong for me and helping Momma fight for me! You never gave up on me or God's plan. (And trust me, He knows what He's doing...) Thanks for being so loving to me and Momma...taking care of  all our needs and wants. You are super smart. You know how to do computer stuff and lots of car stuff. You are one handsome daddy...I brag about you here in Heaven, just like I do about Momma too. Jesus just laughs and rolls his eyes...he thinks I'm silly! And Daddy, you are such a Godly man. I love that you aren't afraid to tell people about what God is doing in your life. I will see you again someday (God won't tell me when though...). 

Stay strong, Daddy! Remember, God has a big plan...and you and Momma are part of it! I miss you and love you a lot, Daddy! 

Your Precious Baby, 

Oliver Matthew Junebug

P.S. I love that awesome HotWheel truck you gave me! That was very special and I'm glad I got to own a HotWheel! :)

Another milestone was Oliver's due date day--June 20. This was a hard day for us...I was suppose to be pregnant still, unless Junebug decided otherwise. It was going to be the day that we met our baby. And a couple days later, take him home. But, God had a different plan...as you all know. We kept ourselves busy and went to Cincinnati. We went to some outlet malls, Ikea, and ate at the resturant that we ate at almost 12 weeks ago for our final, last-chance-to-help-Junebug appointment. Overall, it turned out to be an okay day...and we felt Oliver with us--comforting Momma and Daddy on the difficult day. 

And then today is, of course, Oliver Day! :) Today, it's been 12 weeks since we said hello and see ya later to Oliver. 12 weeks?! Where has time gone? We miss our baby a lot still...and always will. We still have our good days and bad days...more good than bad lately. But there are definitely days that we just cry and cry...and relive the whole situation. We are healing...but it's a slow process. We will always have an Oliver-sized hole in our hearts that can never be filled. But on a happier note, it's Happy Oliver Day! :) Hope everyone has a great Ollie Day...you know he would want you to! He is smiling down on you and loving on you too! 

Daddy driving the Junebug