Week 23

 "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." --Phil. 4:6-7 (The Message)


Today went better than we expected! We are seeing God at work! :) It's amazing! (We still have a LONG way to go...but...we are thankful for little positives!)


We had two doctor's appointments..one with the specialist and one with our OB. The ultrasound at the specialist showed that Junebug has switched positions (yet again). Last week, Junebug was breach...but today, the baby was head down and had flipped left to right. The doctor is amazed (and puzzled) how the baby is able to do that without there being fluid. It shouldn't be possible, but this bug is a mover...and fighter! God is allowing it to move and "stretch" as much as it can! From what they can tell, the kidneys have developed more. They showed up on the ultrasound today as a gray color instead of the big, black blob they were before. There is still some black (a.k.a fluid) in the kidneys...but it's much smaller than it has ever been! They still can't determine the function of the kidneys, but at least the look better! Again, God's work! And they believe there is fluid in the bladder since it shows up black. We are assuming there is a breakdown somewhere from the kidneys to the bladder to the excretion of the urine. The heartbeat was still strong and perfect at 144 bpm!


Our OB was very encouraged today when we visited her! She is encouraged by the changes Junebug is showing, the strong heartbeat, and the fact we have made it to this point...23 weeks. :) We discussed what possibilities lie ahead as far as monitoring, delivery, and post-delivery...but we will know more "definitive" (as much as we can...) next Thursday. We are meeting with the specialist, the OB, and a neonatologist to come up with a plan for our Junebug. (I will keep you updated after that...) They will give me steroids to help in the development of the baby's lungs starting at 24 weeks. 


Please continue to pray! Pray for Junebug's body...that God will continue to heal and develop the kidneys, that JB will stay away from the umbilical cord (that's still a concern), and that we can make it to at minimum 24 weeks! (Of course, we would love to make it to 26-28 weeks...the longer, the better!) Pray for Rob and I...we need the continued peace and knowledge of what is best for our baby. Pray for our families...they need the peace, knowledge, and support too! And pray for our friends...they have been a huge support to us and will continue to be, but we don't want them to get worn or stressed out!


To our Junebug:
Wow, bugger! You are one strong baby! I love that I can feel you moving/poking...even if it keeps me up at night! It gives me reassurance that you are ok in there, so don't stop for too long! Bug, God is touching you...healing you...using you! There are people who "know" you...and are amazed by God's work in you. I can't even imagine what He has planned for you after your arrival! Big things, baby, big things for Him! Hang out in there for a couple more weeks...and stay away from that fun-looking cord! We love you!! 
Momma and Daddy

Week 22 (and a half...)

"Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." --1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (The Message)

We went to the specialist again yesterday for our weekly ultrasound to check on Junebug. There wasn't any visible changes...still no fluid! We did get to see all 4 chambers of the heart pumping away (161 bmp), which we haven't been able to see before.

There were a couple of funny things from the appointment:

• Junebug had the hiccups during the ultrasound. It was pretty funny to watch the little bug twitch on the monitor and to know that's what I was feeling. 
• He/She kicked hard enough that I immediately put my hand on my stomach and the ultrasound tech said she felt and saw it! Junebug was trying to tell her, "Leave me alone! Stop poking at me!" 
• The baby was sucking on either their hand or arm. (We could see the jaw moving up and down, in a sucking motion with their arm up at their mouth.) 

Even though there wasn't anything that we would call "positive"...there were some humorous parts! This is the first appointment that we've had that they didn't tell us something super negative...so I will take that as a positive. :) 

We are still praying for a miracle for Junebug! Please continue to pray for our families as you pray for us! This is just as tough on the "grandparents" and "aunts and uncles" as it is on Rob and I! 

We appreciate everything that you have done for us this far! Your words of support and encouragement mean more than you will ever know. You (along with God) are helping to carry us through this rough time!

On A Positive Note...

Rob was able to feel Junebug move this morning! I've been able to feel the movements for several weeks, but they haven't been hard enough for him to feel on the outside. This morning we were cuddling in bed and he had his hand on my belly. He started giggling and said "I felt the baby! It just moved, right?" :) I'm so glad/excited that he was finally able to feel it. Junebug is shifting positions again. Little bug doesn't stay still for too long...which is great, as long as it stays away from the umbilical cord.

Week 21

We went back to the specialist yesterday for another ultrasound to check on Junebug. Everything still looks the same from what she can tell. Junebug's heartbeat was 152 bpm and it was moving around. The measurements they got were perfect....right on for 21 weeks! It's still being a stinker and not letting us know the gender. I don't think they would be able to tell anyway because the ultrasound picture quality is so poor due to lack of fluid. The doctor informed us that she doubts that we will see the 24 week mark and even if we do, the baby may be too small to go to the NICU at the hospital. I assume we could still send Junebug to Riley's NICU...but didn't ask. We left there discouraged again...feeling like the glimmer of hope was extinguished. But then we remembered that our God is bigger and can do anything! We are staying positive...not giving up on this miracle we call Junebug! It's defying the odds as it is...strong heartbeat, active, and growing like it should. We are blessed to be experiencing pregnancy and are enjoying everyday this miracle is with us!

Keep praying! :) Like I have said before, we are feeling them. We wouldn't be as strong as we are without God's help and your prayers! The encouraging messages we are getting on Faceb**k, emails, texts, and in person are getting us through this tough time. (We have kept all of the Faceb**k messages and emails from this journey and they will be going in Junebug's scrapbook.) We love you all!

Update...Week 20

We went to the OB on Thursday. Junebug's heartbeat is still perfect (mid-150s). She told us she thinks that if Junebug can stay alive in me (away from its umbilical cord) until at least 24 weeks, they will monitor closer. They may be able to deliver Junebug via C-section between 24-28 weeks, give the baby steroid shots for the lungs, hook it up to a dialysis machine (along with other machines), send it to the NICU, and pray for the best. According to the doctor, this would be the only chance of survival. Obviously, the odds are still against us...but at least it's a little hope. We are still praying for a miracle!

Week 20

We went to the doctor today and saw a different doctor within the same practice. She was very nice and compassionate! The baby's heartbeat is still strong and the baby was moving like crazy. The doctor and ultrasound tech were surprised at how active this baby is. Unfortunately, there haven't been any changes with the baby's kidneys or amniotic fluid. The big shock today was when the doctor informed us that since there isn't much room in the placenta without the fluid, the baby will probably end up laying on the umbilical cord causing it to die. The average gestation for babies with this problem is about 24-26 weeks, which means I may only have a few more weeks in this pregnancy. This is hard for Rob and me to grasp...we thought we had at least another 10 or 12 weeks, which we might, but it's not typical. It feels so abrupt. So sudden. So...not what we anticipated. :(  We go back next week for another ultrasound to make sure the baby's still alive. Hopefully, we don't have anymore super shocks for a couple of weeks.

Please continue to pray for the miracle of our Junebug's kidneys working and amniotic fluid filling the placenta. Please pray for our families...pray that God gives them peace, strength, and understanding. This is just as tough on them as it is on us. Pray for our friends...they have been with us through this (which we love and appreciate), but we will continue to lean on them for support. Please pray that God continues to give us peace and strength throughout this journey. We know that this is God's plan, but each time we get new not-good news...it wears on us emotionally, mentally, and physically. Pray that God gives us guidance and wisdom over the next several weeks with decisions that will need to be made and handled.

To our Junebug:
You are one active, determined, little bug. We could see you today, moving your little booty around. It was so cute! You are a blessing to us and those around us. God has sent you to change the world, and you have! You have made big changes in people...people Mommy and Daddy know and don't know.  We (along with many other people) pray for you many times everyday. We would love to meet you, but just not yet! Stay in there where it's warm and safe for a little bit longer. We love you, Bug!
Momma and Daddy

Week 19

We are at the end of week 19, so I'm going to reflect on this week.

We went to the specialist on Monday (Jan. 24) for an ultrasound to see if anything has changed in the baby's kidneys or amount of fluid. There really hadn't been any change that we and the doctor could tell, so we go back on Monday (Jan. 31) for another look. I was really disappointed to hear the doctor say that everything looked the same. I went into the appointment really hopeful (maybe too hopeful) that there would be fluid and the baby's kidneys would be working (even just one). So needless to say, I was upset when we left the hospital. I (like everyone else) had been praying constantly for God to work on our Junebug's kidneys...make them work...make there be fluid. And when there is no change, I asked God why He isn't anwering our prayers! Come on, God! You created this life...why are you doing this!?!

Well, my wonderful sis-in-love (Rett) wrote a beautiful post on their blog...and I think it helped answer my questions. :) Read it here...then come back to finish reading my post. :)

After I read it, the rest of this week has been pretty good. I just keep telling myself that maybe God's reason is ultimately for His glory. Our little Junebug, living in my body, is changing people...for the better!! People are talking to Him that haven't talked to Him in a while...or ever! Junebug is changing relationships with people...co-workers, friends, strangers, family...this baby is making people care about each other. Taking time out of their busy lives to talk to people and talk to God. God definitely has big plans for this little baby that has about 20 weeks to hang out inside of me.

Yesterday, on the way home from school/work, I was listening to the Christian radio station (KLOVE). They played this song (Before the Morning--by Josh Wilson) that I swear was written just for us...and it has become my new favorite song. It has helped me remember why we suffer when we have a God that loves us.

We go back to the specialist on Monday (Jan. 31) so keep praying for our Junebug. I will update again next week...hopefully, sooner than I did this week. Thanks for everything that you have done! We love you guys!