We have learned a lot about ourselves and people in the last few weeks and months during Junebug’s Journey. I’ve heard in the past how some people think that the good in the world is gone, but I can tell you from personal experience it isn’t. Want proof? We have had many people go out of their way to help us in many different ways. People have brought us meals, sent us cards, sent messages, sent flowers, and so much more.
Now you might be thinking, the people doing these good things are probably from their church. Here’s a newsflash for you, some of the people doing these things, aren’t from our church. In fact, they aren't from any church that we know of anyway. Yes, there is and always will be bad in the world too, but what stops us all from showing God's love in everything we do? Not just the moments during a tragedy in someone's life. I can tell you that the little things which have done for us have meant the world. Oliver has changed Allyson and I in many ways, but one big way is not taking for granted the little things in life. The meals, the prayers, and the notes from people we don't know have been some of the things we may have taken for granted in the past, but not any longer.
Today was a big day for Oliver, Allyson, and I. It was the 30th, exactly one month since the birth and loss of our little guy. I don't know how people with healthy babies celebrate one month of life with their little ones, but I do know you shouldn't take it for granted. Don't take any time you have with your kids or loved ones for granted because you never know when things could change in an instant.
One thing I have been thinking about a lot today is the little movements I saw Oliver make in the short time we had together. I could not anticipate how much they would mean to me now. I wish I could see his little face, fingers, legs, and feet move again, but all I can do is replay our short moments in my mind over and over. Parents reading this, please enjoy each moment and movement your kids make, even when they may not be ones you like at the time. We were blessed to have that hour and 41 minutes with Oliver and we thank God for that time. I know I keep saying this over and over, but enjoy the time you have. Spread God's love, and let us all fill the world with more good than bad. Then hopefully we can say one day, the negativity and bad in the world is gone...
Thanks and God bless,
Rob and Allyson
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Really?
Has it been over 3 weeks since we said hello and good-bye to our sweet baby boy? Wow...how does time fly by and stand still all at the same time?! I feel like it was just yesterday morning that I was walking--(somewhat waddling)--into the hospital to meet our little Junebug, to find out if it was a he or she, and to be blessed by a wonderful God who gave us much needed time with this sweet miracle. How has it already been 3 weeks?
There are many days that people ask Rob and/or I how we are doing. And sometimes we struggle with what to say. Does that person REALLY care to know how we are doing...or are they asking because they don't know what else to say to us? Like, if I say that I'm doing terrible, are you going to walk away? Or are you going to listen to me? Comfort me? Most of the time, we are just in survival mode. We are okay...we will get through this. God is giving us the strength and comfort to continue on--minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. And to be honest, Wednesdays tend to be our roughest days--it's Ollie day! Those are the days that mark another week without our baby in our arms. We try to be as positive as possible on those days--but sometimes it's hard. And we need extra comfort, support, and prayer on those days.
Last night, we went to the pregnancy/infant loss support group at the hospital where we delivered Oliver. We didn't think we needed it going in, but afterwards we realized how much we did! And we enjoyed it! We made some new friends. We got to talk about Ollie, pass around my picture album, and get support and advice from moms and dads who have been where we are. I know that people who offer us advice and comfort mean well (and we appreciate it), but there is nothing like talking, listening, and crying with someone who (unfortunately) knows exactly what and how we are feeling. There were people there who lost their baby weeks, months, or years ago. It was nice to hear from the parents who are years out from the tragedy that there will be a day when we see the light at the end of the tunnel. That we will be able to truly enjoy life again. That there will be days that we don't cry. We also got confirmation that we aren't crazy for grieving still. We've had some people in our lives that have implied that we should "be over it" already. Or that I need anti-depressants because I am crying when I talk/think about Oliver. Those people don't understand that Oliver was a human, a baby...OUR BABY! He is our son! And we ARE allowed to grieve the loss of him...for how ever long it takes us!
At the support group, we were talking about the storms that wreaked havoc on Indiana this week. One couple shared that when the tornado sirens were blaring, the only things that they grabbed to take with them into their safe place were the momentos from the hospital (including the moldings of their daughter's hands and feet). I immediately chimed in and said "Me too! Me too!" :) Well, we planned ahead. Knowing that the storms were coming, Rob and I moved Oliver's memory box (full of his belongings) and the shadow box with his hand and foot moldings into the bathroom. So that when the tornado sirens sounded, we went into the bathroom and held onto Ollie's stuff. (And apparently, there were many other moms and dads that did the same thing!) We all cherish these treasures--they are irreplaceable. It's all we have left of our baby.
Enjoy Easter on Sunday. Remember--it's not about the bunny, colored eggs, and chocolate--it's about our Lord and Savior dying on the cross for our sins, raising from the dead, and ascending into Heaven. Because of this, we can have eternal life in Heaven if we believe in Him. I am so grateful for that! Not only will I get to live forever inside the pearly gates, but I will be able to see my little Junebug again (and meet all of his new friends) when it's my turn to get angel wings!
There are many days that people ask Rob and/or I how we are doing. And sometimes we struggle with what to say. Does that person REALLY care to know how we are doing...or are they asking because they don't know what else to say to us? Like, if I say that I'm doing terrible, are you going to walk away? Or are you going to listen to me? Comfort me? Most of the time, we are just in survival mode. We are okay...we will get through this. God is giving us the strength and comfort to continue on--minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. And to be honest, Wednesdays tend to be our roughest days--it's Ollie day! Those are the days that mark another week without our baby in our arms. We try to be as positive as possible on those days--but sometimes it's hard. And we need extra comfort, support, and prayer on those days.
Last night, we went to the pregnancy/infant loss support group at the hospital where we delivered Oliver. We didn't think we needed it going in, but afterwards we realized how much we did! And we enjoyed it! We made some new friends. We got to talk about Ollie, pass around my picture album, and get support and advice from moms and dads who have been where we are. I know that people who offer us advice and comfort mean well (and we appreciate it), but there is nothing like talking, listening, and crying with someone who (unfortunately) knows exactly what and how we are feeling. There were people there who lost their baby weeks, months, or years ago. It was nice to hear from the parents who are years out from the tragedy that there will be a day when we see the light at the end of the tunnel. That we will be able to truly enjoy life again. That there will be days that we don't cry. We also got confirmation that we aren't crazy for grieving still. We've had some people in our lives that have implied that we should "be over it" already. Or that I need anti-depressants because I am crying when I talk/think about Oliver. Those people don't understand that Oliver was a human, a baby...OUR BABY! He is our son! And we ARE allowed to grieve the loss of him...for how ever long it takes us!
At the support group, we were talking about the storms that wreaked havoc on Indiana this week. One couple shared that when the tornado sirens were blaring, the only things that they grabbed to take with them into their safe place were the momentos from the hospital (including the moldings of their daughter's hands and feet). I immediately chimed in and said "Me too! Me too!" :) Well, we planned ahead. Knowing that the storms were coming, Rob and I moved Oliver's memory box (full of his belongings) and the shadow box with his hand and foot moldings into the bathroom. So that when the tornado sirens sounded, we went into the bathroom and held onto Ollie's stuff. (And apparently, there were many other moms and dads that did the same thing!) We all cherish these treasures--they are irreplaceable. It's all we have left of our baby.
Enjoy Easter on Sunday. Remember--it's not about the bunny, colored eggs, and chocolate--it's about our Lord and Savior dying on the cross for our sins, raising from the dead, and ascending into Heaven. Because of this, we can have eternal life in Heaven if we believe in Him. I am so grateful for that! Not only will I get to live forever inside the pearly gates, but I will be able to see my little Junebug again (and meet all of his new friends) when it's my turn to get angel wings!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
2 weeks?!
I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks since Oliver was born and gone! :(
The funeral/graveside service was last Friday. It went really well. Our families were there surrounding us. Rob, his dad, his brother, and my dad got to help carry Oliver's little casket. Our wonderful pastor, Brad, conducted the service. When it was over, we all went out for pizza. As weird as that may sound, it was nice for us to be able to visit with our families and friends, and just unwind.
On Saturday, we had Oliver's memorial/celebration of life service. It was amazing! We sang praises to God, listened to our great small group leaders read Jeremiah 29:11-14 and explain what these verses mean to Rob and I, and how we have challenged/blessed them. Then Brad spoke...it was perfect! He spoke about how Oliver was the perfect name since the name Oliver is derived from Olive and the similarities between our Oliver and the Olive tree. The Olive tree is able to grow in the worst conditions and still produces good fruit, and baby Oliver, like the Olive tree, continued to grow and amaze the doctors despite his condition & touch hundreds of lives. We weren't aware of the meaning behind the name Oliver...Junebug just looked like an Oliver. :) Afterwards, we had a table of his momentos and pictures for people to look at and another table with cake. Yes, we had cake...we were celebrating Oliver's life after all! He is such a miracle!
I'm gonna be honest...this week has been tough! This is our first week of reality. Last week we had family and friends around us most of the time or had planning to do for his funeral and memorial service. The first couple days of this week, we...(er, I) cried many times. I look at his pictures, his little hat, his hand and foot moldings...all of his momentos and it makes me sad, yet happy. I'm glad that I got to carry him, feel him kick, see him move on the ultrasounds, and hear his heart beat...but I'm also glad that we got to see him, hold him, snuggle with him, kiss him, love him before he went to be an angel in Heaven. I'm glad that we have an angel to look over us and that he never had to suffer. That doesn't mean we don't miss him...because we miss him terribly! We wish everyday that we could still hold him, love him, see him. But we take comfort in knowing that he is in Heaven, playing with his angel baby friend Tressel, getting loved on by great-grandparents and Jesus, and watching down on us.
Oliver Matthew Junebug--
You will always be our miracle and you did more for God in your little life than most people do in their long life here on Earth. We miss you so much, but love you even more!
Momma and Daddy
P.S. Rob decided last week to name all Wednesdays "Oliver Days" since Ollie was born on a Wednesday. So next Wednesday, wish someone "Happy Oliver Day"! :)
The funeral/graveside service was last Friday. It went really well. Our families were there surrounding us. Rob, his dad, his brother, and my dad got to help carry Oliver's little casket. Our wonderful pastor, Brad, conducted the service. When it was over, we all went out for pizza. As weird as that may sound, it was nice for us to be able to visit with our families and friends, and just unwind.
On Saturday, we had Oliver's memorial/celebration of life service. It was amazing! We sang praises to God, listened to our great small group leaders read Jeremiah 29:11-14 and explain what these verses mean to Rob and I, and how we have challenged/blessed them. Then Brad spoke...it was perfect! He spoke about how Oliver was the perfect name since the name Oliver is derived from Olive and the similarities between our Oliver and the Olive tree. The Olive tree is able to grow in the worst conditions and still produces good fruit, and baby Oliver, like the Olive tree, continued to grow and amaze the doctors despite his condition & touch hundreds of lives. We weren't aware of the meaning behind the name Oliver...Junebug just looked like an Oliver. :) Afterwards, we had a table of his momentos and pictures for people to look at and another table with cake. Yes, we had cake...we were celebrating Oliver's life after all! He is such a miracle!
I'm gonna be honest...this week has been tough! This is our first week of reality. Last week we had family and friends around us most of the time or had planning to do for his funeral and memorial service. The first couple days of this week, we...(er, I) cried many times. I look at his pictures, his little hat, his hand and foot moldings...all of his momentos and it makes me sad, yet happy. I'm glad that I got to carry him, feel him kick, see him move on the ultrasounds, and hear his heart beat...but I'm also glad that we got to see him, hold him, snuggle with him, kiss him, love him before he went to be an angel in Heaven. I'm glad that we have an angel to look over us and that he never had to suffer. That doesn't mean we don't miss him...because we miss him terribly! We wish everyday that we could still hold him, love him, see him. But we take comfort in knowing that he is in Heaven, playing with his angel baby friend Tressel, getting loved on by great-grandparents and Jesus, and watching down on us.
Oliver Matthew Junebug--
You will always be our miracle and you did more for God in your little life than most people do in their long life here on Earth. We miss you so much, but love you even more!
Momma and Daddy
P.S. Rob decided last week to name all Wednesdays "Oliver Days" since Ollie was born on a Wednesday. So next Wednesday, wish someone "Happy Oliver Day"! :)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Obituary for Oliver Matthew Junebug Foster
Oliver Matthew Junebug Foster was born on Wednesday, March 30, 2011, at 8:10 a.m. to his parents, Rob and Allyson Foster at Community North Hospital in Indianapolis. He weighed two pounds, eight ounces and was 13.75 inches long.
Oliver's family was blessed with an hour and 41 minutes with him, before Jesus took him home at 9:51 a.m. Oliver spent his short time here being held and kissed by mommy and daddy, and being told "I love you" uncountable times.
Along with his parents, Oliver is survived by his maternal grandparents, Sherman and Janet Altick; his paternal grandparents, Tony and Kyna Foster; his uncle, Jake Altick; his uncle, Kyle Altick; and aunt-to-be, Linda Sanchez; his uncle and aunt, Tony and Rett Foster; and his cousins, Abby and Laney Foster and Hayleigh Blevins.
Oliver will always be God's miracle to his parents and family. He is greatly missed, but his family knows they will see him again in heaven one day.
Oliver will be laid to rest at a family graveside service on Friday, April 8, at Willow Grove Cemetery in Fountain City. A memorial service/celebration of life will be held on Saturday, April 9, at 2 p.m. at Fall Creek Wesleyan Church, 11721 Olio Road, Fishers, Ind.
If anyone would like to make a donation in Oliver's memory, please donate to either Harvest Church, P.O. Box 184, McCordsville, IN 46055; or Fingerprints of Grace Photography, 11877 Ledgestone Circle, Fishers, IN 46037.
The Smith & McQuiston Funeral Home, Fountain City, is in charge of funeral arrangements.
Online condolences: www.smithmcquistonwebster.com
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Update after a few days...
I'm sorry the updates haven't been as frequent as we would like, but it's been a rough few days as to be expected. We've been having a whirlwind of emotions, but thankful to God for everything. Oliver was an adorable little guy and will be in the hearts of many for a long time. The hospital we were at was more than awesome, they took care of our every need, and really cared about us and all we were going through. We really bonded with some our nurses who were taking care of us. Also, Carrie with Fingerprints of Grace took some amazing pictures for us which will be shown in later posts.
As I said above, it's been a tough few days. Physically and emotionally for Allyson, and then emotionally for myself and our families. We miss our little Oliver so much, he was a fighter and an inspiration to us all. I am so thankful that we got to hold him as much as we did. I was even able to give him his first little Hot Wheel, which was a Chevy Truck (pictures to come). Allyson is starting to sleep better, but it has been a struggle at times for us both. We still have a lot of things to get figured out, and have so many emotions. Sometimes something small will set us off, or sometimes it is reading the comments, cards, and other items of support. We appreciate them all and can't tell you enough how all the prayers and support has really helped us. We have so many people to thank, I'm not even going to start thanking them on here, because I know I'll miss someone, but know you all are appreciated.
Anyway, sorry for the scattered brain post, but that's about how I am thinking right now. Did I mention how adorable our son Oliver was? Well, just in case you don't believe me, I have posted a couple pictures below. We will post again soon, but in the mean time, please continue to pray for Allyson's health, recovery, and strength. Also pray for our families as they are having difficult times as well.
Oliver's Mommy and Daddy
As I said above, it's been a tough few days. Physically and emotionally for Allyson, and then emotionally for myself and our families. We miss our little Oliver so much, he was a fighter and an inspiration to us all. I am so thankful that we got to hold him as much as we did. I was even able to give him his first little Hot Wheel, which was a Chevy Truck (pictures to come). Allyson is starting to sleep better, but it has been a struggle at times for us both. We still have a lot of things to get figured out, and have so many emotions. Sometimes something small will set us off, or sometimes it is reading the comments, cards, and other items of support. We appreciate them all and can't tell you enough how all the prayers and support has really helped us. We have so many people to thank, I'm not even going to start thanking them on here, because I know I'll miss someone, but know you all are appreciated.
Anyway, sorry for the scattered brain post, but that's about how I am thinking right now. Did I mention how adorable our son Oliver was? Well, just in case you don't believe me, I have posted a couple pictures below. We will post again soon, but in the mean time, please continue to pray for Allyson's health, recovery, and strength. Also pray for our families as they are having difficult times as well.
Mommy and Oliver
Mommy, Daddy, and Oliver
Oliver Matthew Junebug Foster
Thanks and God Bless,
Oliver's Mommy and Daddy
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